I Know Im A Monster
by Reito-en
Summary: After the death of Jiraya 4 months into his trip naruto uncovers Alucards tomb in with he is trained by him and becomes the next No-life king. Look out Shinobi world for Konoha's Ultamate Monster :super-strong naruto:off/on character bashing: Mabey harem
1. Meeting the Nolife king

**CHAPER ONE**

**The Bird of Hermes is my name, i took on a apprentice to keep me tame**

It was cold... it was midnight and the full moon could bee seen shining in a pool of blood, a blond boy was holding the corpse of a tall white haired man crying both tears of sadness and fear. his Sensei also known as Ero-Sennin was dead, murdered before his eyes as a pale man pined and bit him with speeds that could make Gai do a double take. the next thing he knew there was blood every where and Ero-Sennin was Dead, before he died he impaled the Pale man in the heart while he was being bit killing him as well.

...

...

...

"what am i going do" he sobbed knowing he was lost, he and Jiraiya were taking a shortcut near a mountain when the attack happened. he was now alone in the wilderness and didn't have a map because Jiraiya never needed one having traveled A crossed the Elemental nations for years, he knew the fire country and the bordering land like the back of his hand...

But Naruto didn't.

after looking over his "recently deceased" Sensei Naruto started Exploring hoping to find a road. it Was dark and he was cold and because of his poor treatment at the ninja academy, he knew next to nothing of pre-longed outdoor survival. "KUSO!" Could be heard all the way back in Konoha as Naruto fell down a ravine after struggling through the bushes.

OW

DAMN IT!

SON OF A-

AHHHHHHHH- SLAM!

After getting up to check his surroundings he realised he was unconscious for a few hours because he could see the sky lit with light from the morning sun. He noticed to his side was a stone door with a cross above it. It gave off a bone chilling vibe but bathed and mystery and but a curios young boy he is he couldn't help but check it out. after opening the stone door...with i might add weight a ton, he crept along a passage way until everything lit up as torches ignited like magic... he wasn't all that creeped out after seeing sasuke use so many fire jutsu. "What the hell is this place" he said out loud to himself looking at the paintings on the wall. he came a crossed an old one of an old woman most likely in her 60's sitting next to a tall man in a red red trench coat with a weird hat and shades who looked young but experienced.

He found another painting of the same woman but looked years younger. "Integra... Fairbrook... Wingate's... Hellsing 1977-2044" he stared at it thinking among the lines of 'that was 800 years ago...Before ninja' also ' damn... that's either a long last name or she was from multiple clans... if it's possible to be from more than two'. After walking down father in to... whatever this place is he came up to a metal door with a silver cross on it. Wanting to know what's here so he can leave afterwards up tried to open it but couldn't, he tried harder until he heard a massive creek then the door slid open with ease. After peeking inside he saw nothing but a corpse chained to the wall. When he went to leave the door slammed shut hitting back and slamming his nose with breaking force.

"uugh.. ow! My nose!" he cried as his nose began to bleed. As he stayed on the floor using his sleeve to stop the bleeding he heard a very strange sound... it sounded like dragging a wet cloth on cement, he turned slowly only to coward in fear as the corpse started licking the blood that got on the floor with a long tongue the reminded him of Orochimaru. "AHHHHH ZOMBIE!" he shouted an tried to open the door only for not the budge, he was about to go with a good ol' rasengan until he heard a strong and gentle yet deadly voice "You... what year is it" he turned slowly expecting a zombie but what he saw shocked him to the core. It was the man from the painting... painted 800 years ago.

"AHHHHHHHH!" he screamed thinking he was a 'well preserved' zombie. "AHHH ZOMBIE" he started screaming until a calm but forceful "SILENCE" entered his ears... he stared at the tall black haired man "I said what year is it" he asked again "i-it's 2854" He choked out not wanting to piss him off having fear clouding his ninja instincts witch wear mostly spam the guy with clones."Hmmm that's a long time... most likely humanity's forgotten about me, I don't have the motivation to reforge my name and reputation" he looked at naruto who started getting creeped out by his gaze. 'i have lived longer then I would have liked... I have no friends to help or enemies to destroy... I need a successor... this little weak human boy will do' he walked over to naruto who was still on the floor. "What is your name?"

"Naruto"

"What is your propose in life"

"To grow strong to protect my precious people"

He looked at the boy and smiled, he wanted power for a good reason and wouldn't abuse it. "i can give you power, it will only cost you your humanity". He stated as Naruto stared at him in confusion. "What do you mean?" he asked thinking of the pro and cons of this. "i can turn you into a vampire... A nosferatu... ill make you my heir... train you... and then i can finally rest in the after-life with you as the new...NO-LIFE KING."

Naruto give it some thought... Having great power... but he wouldn't human anymore, he remembers no one treated him like human and only saw him as Kyuubi... 'WHO CARE IF IM NOT HUMAN.. Never mattered to them' "Alright... but what is your name Mr..." "Alucard." he stared at him "alright Alucard-Sense-" Before he finished the sentence alucard was already on his neck, he could feel his teeth and his eyes went wide as his skin started to become pale.

Inside the seal, the Kyuubi (Kurama, if you seen the latest manga) was in pure fear as the walls turned black with red eyes everywhere and the murky water turned into blood "**What is this... this is power is more dense and sinister then my own!**" the Kyuubi flared its red chakra at the walls but Alucards shadow mass absorbed it making the beast even more scared. The shadow mass started to close in on the Kyuubi. "**NOOOO! GET AWAY NOO-**" the most powerful tailed beast was no more... the seal was now a empty room were Alucard poured some Blood in to give naruto some of his power to train with so when the time comes... he can wield ""ALL"" of Alucard's power.

Naruto was on the floor curled in a ball shaking as his hair went from a bright sun shine yellow to a pale yellow (inos hair colour) as his whisker marks changed shape, instead of just lines on his check they were like small dark claw marks (think of getting bitch slapped by wolverine) his eye turned red, not like the Kyuubi's but an amber-red colour that glowed as his body started to grow a few inches. After the changes he passed out with Alucards smile that was kind and scary being the last thing he saw.


	2. Good bye master

**HELLO! i would like to point out that its olny a crossover in the beging until Naruto returns to Konoha, after that ifs Mostly Naruto with Alucards power and some other elements, he will not have guns since they dont exist in the Naruto-verse. instead he will have swords, one Silver and the other black gun/chakra metal. also there will be enimies with hellsing powers only naruto stlye. Like Rip van wikles power, Only shuriken instead of bullets.**** i would like to ask you reader who should i pair naruto with and should it be a harem, (no single person can handle naruto's stamina... or can they?)**

**Now on with the story**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

**situation A, Student is being an idiot, full release untill target is temporarily silenced.**

Some were deep underground which at one point was the Hellsing Dungeon was a scream so loud the force of said scream would put Dosu's melody arm to shame (thank god for sound proof solid ground). Why was there a scream, because our favorite 'EX'-jinchuuriki saw himself in the mirror and being shocked at what he saw would be a understatement. He was a monster, his hair had lost its bright sun light colour to it and was now obeying gravity a bit more his face was pale not as pale as Orochimaru's but still paler then most normal people, even paler those who never go outside and just write Fan fictions (Like Me... though I have a natural surfer tan all the time for some reason) his eyes glowed a bloody red with some orange mixed in their giving it a dark amber glow. "What the Hell Happened To me!" he screamed out loud.

"I made you my Apprentice" he herd and turn around to see Alucard smiling at him which scared the Shit out of him (think of Alucard at the bedside smiling at Seras when she woke up in Ultimate) he looked at him for a second until "AHHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL MAN!" screamed Naruto sill being jumpy from his reflection. "Shut up, get dress then meet me in the main chamber." "Um where is the main chamber."... "just meet me were we first met" After that The Current No-life king phased through the wall ' I got to learn to do that' after staring at the wall His new master just when through his looked for his jumpsuit, get the only thing he could find was a dark yellow uniform and darker jacket (think of a boy version of Seras uniform + Darker yellow jacket)

'I can't go train in my under were with a old dude, ERrr... this will have to do' after getting dressed he went out of the room and started heading for the place he met Alucard, unfortunately he was out cold went brought to his room so he had to explore. Eventually he came apon a large round room lit with torches in a way so there was light but the room was still dark. at the center there was a table with to bowls with Alucard at one side. "Are you going to have breakfast?" He said without even looking at him. Hearing that word immediately got him hungry so without even needing a shunshin appeared at the table already have his... red soup. "This is the best thing I ever had! What is it"... Alucard smiled "blood..." that made Naruto look at him

"No really"

"It's Blood..."

"Seriously... What is it?"

"I'm not kidding, it's blood... Human blood is what makes up most of a Vampire's diet" Alucard stated calmly while Naruto looked sick to his Stomach. He drank blood, another humans blood he could feel bile rise in his throat as he looked at his reflection in Kami's Wine of life. "B-blood... WHY WOULD VAM-THINGS DRINK BLOOD?" He screamed, thinking of how Alucard would go out to dinner... 'May i have some B+ with that' he shuddered at the thought. "Blood is how a vampire becomes strong, when a pure vampire (cause most are weak semi-vampire... like Edward) drinks someone's blood... there absorbing their very essence. you gain the memories, the emotions, the power and Longevity of the person... I'm at least 1300 years old because a have the life force of thousands of humans" "r-really" Naruto asked, shocked that this guy has drank so much blood from so many people. "Nooo... hundreds of thousands" this caused Naruto to sweat-drop. "So... you have the power of A hundreds thousand people." he asked in mock awe. "Yes and when your training is complete ill give all that power to you so i may pass on. After saying this Naruto looked up to him like he was a god.

"Wait, what kind of power are we talking about" he asked wanting to know what he getting into. "You will be immortal, can regenerate from a single drop of blood and many other things" he stated as naruto looked at him in awe. 'id be unbeatable, it won't matter how strong you are in you can't kill your opponent' he started thinking how awesome he would be, 'kicking teme's ass and bringing him home, having Sakura-can fall in love with me ITS PERFECT' "May we begin training now Master" he asked not wanting to waste any time "finish your blood then meet me at the training room' he said as he turned into a colony of bats and flew off

"HEY WAIT, MASTER WHERES THE TRAINING ROOM!" he shouted as Alucard left, he then looked to his 'Soup' "I shouldn't... I mustn't... oh Screw it its good shit!" he said before drinking the blood like he crossed the desert of wind country with no water. After he was done licking the bowl of the last drop he looked around the dungeon 'Damn him... i need to ask him for a map of this place' after 10 minutes of wondering around he finally found Alucard in front of steel doors. "There you are!" he said pissed off beginning to rant until Alucard slapped a hand over his mouth "shut up... come on, we need to get started on your training. After hearing the R word Naruot's Anger was gone and ran into the training room with glee. 'Hmm whenever i say training he's always hyper and in a good mood, ill remember that' with that he walked into the room to begin the tor-Training, yes i meant to say training.

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><p>"What the hell Sensei! are you trying to kill me!" he shouted, Alucard said they were going to spar but it was more like a fight for survival "do you want me to say no or an honest answer" Naruto Sweat-dropped "Your really trying to kill me.." he said with a unnerved tone<p>

"it will make you strong... now draw apon the power I gave you". Naruto stopped closed his eyes he could feel the power in him but he was so used to drawing chakra it was near impossible to control a whole now kind of power 'come on... Come On... COME ON!' his eye's shot open glowing a dark crimson as he shot off towards Alucard at Incredible speeds dishing attacks at random very fast ' he's doing it, let's see if he can regenerate some damage' he finished his thought when slash cross Naruto's left arm "ARRGG What the hell" he said as he grabbed the wound "focus your vampiric power in to it" drawing His masters power into his arm he saw how it healed in seconds "whoa...THATS AWESOME" he jumped around at his healing ability while Alucard sweat-dropped.

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><p>"Good morning Master" Alucard herd as he turned to a 14 year ago Vampire he took on as a Apprentice and heir to his power. "hello Naruto..." he and Naruto have gotten close, after many SILENCE's sent at Naruto combined with the training he was broken down and remade as a kind, strong mature young Vampire. He has trained tooth and nail with Alucard and has gotten 100 times stronger than before. He learned many things from Alucard in the ways of the Vampire such as intangibility, shape-shifting, control of shadow mass (Blood release to other ninja) blood absorbing and Regeneration. Next month would be the three year anniversary of When Naruto became a vampire (his third Nosfuratu-day) and meeting Alucard, it would Also be the time when Naruto would Surpass Alucard By becoming the next No-life king and put Alucard to rest (rest in piece) so he was spending as much time with his Master before that day comes.<p>

"Naruto"

"Hai, Master" he answered respectfully (he looks up to Alucard as his Idol and trusted Mentor) "do you know the one sentence i live by" "n-no you never told me this" he was confused, 'why is Alucard-Sama bringing this up now of all times' "the bird of Hermes is my name, i ate my wings to keep me tame" Alucard spoke wisely to him "do you know what is means" Naruto didn't but tried his best answer

"The bird of Hermes is a bird... who maintains.. its wing by picking off overlarge feathers so it can fly and keep stable" he answered "good... now refer the bird as you and the wings is your power" Naruto understood perfectly "I must maintain control of my power with self restraint or my wings (power) will grow too big and ill become unstable". Alucard Smiled this boy was like a son to him, he came to him and grew on his un-beating heart and he was proud this boy was his Successor. "Good.. you understand having too much power is a horrible thing unless you can limit it and control yourself, im proud of you" this made Naruto smile, he would never forget Alucard, his Sensei, his Master, his greatest friend and father figure.

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><p>Naruto was at a clash of emotions, He was happy his training was done and His Mast-.. no Alucard-sempai respected him as a Vampire of great power and worth. But he was also miserable, today was the day Alucard would pass on after giving all his power to Naruto. but with it he would get all of his memories and emotions, Alucard would become a part of Naruto so in a way... his Master will always be by his side and that cheered him up a bit. He walked down the halls of the Dungeon knowing every passage and camber like the back of his hand. He was wearing a trench coat like his master except less Victorian-ish and black in colour and had a dark blue; almost black-blue battle kimono under (jiraiya's under-shirt and pants) and was wearing black boots, his hair was still pale (like Ino's) and pulled back and tided into a ponytail just above his neck and flowed down to his mid back. He wore sunglasses like Alucards but they were Blue instead of yellow that were thin so one could see the red glow of his eyes.<p>

"M-Master... I'm ready" He said above a whisper "very well... do it" Alucard said. he was lying down in his normal suit (minus the coat) lying on a stone altar (the same room he met Alucard) he turned his head giving open space to his neck where Naruto Bit shedding tears as he did. He could feel the blood in his body, All of Alucards Memories flooding his mind... There were Millions of Them; he could feel all the souls Alucard possessed flow into him and Filling the Empty Seal on his stomach. All the power, all the blood... Alucard was no more... a Dried up smiling corpse

As Naruto drank the last of his blood, He then took Alucard's gloves and slid them on activating the Cromwell seal and keeping all the power sealed up in his core. "thank you master...ill never forget you" with those last words he walkout out of the room a headed down the hall with all the torches going out as he walked by. He opened the stone doors to the outside, something he hasn't seen in a long time. After jumping up the raven that lead him to the dungeon he turned back to the doors with a sad face.

"**Bird Of Hermes Is My Name! I Ate My Own Wings So I Stay Tame!"** with that said he used his massive strength to cave in the ravine and bury the dungeon so that no one... NO ONE, would ever disturb his master's final resting place.

"Goodbye.. Master" he whisper as he walked into the woods heading for the nearest village with one thought on his mine

'Look out Shinobi world... get ready for KONOHA'S ULTAMATE MONSTER!'

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><p><strong>So what do ya think aa aaa! <strong>

**i will take any sugestions or idead that might make this story BETTER! **

**i was having the idea that naruto gets a fledging later, a girl younger that him like moegi or hanabi... if you like that idea tell me if you dont tell me that to .. ill be having a poll for that... also sugestions for pairing...to have a harem or not to have a harem...that is the question FOR YOU!**

**Reito OUT!**


	3. They call me Nosferatu

**Ello!... last off naruto sealed the Dungeon were he trained... i will have Naruto get a fledgling but i want to have a poll for who it shall be**

**Moegi, hanabi, oc**

**it will have a harem in later chapters.. i have set in stone that Anko will be in it becuase she is one of my favorite female characters im still deciding who else**

**also i would be sooooOOO damn happy if anyone could make a nice picture of No-life king naruto (described in chapter 2) in their spare time and message me a link...**

**Chapter 3**

**They call me Nosfuratu**

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><p>It was 9 pm in the small village of Toyomasu (some were between the wind and fire countries) and the sun was going down and shops were closing while 'other' salesmenwomen were coming out...the children went inside and nocturnal animals were coming out. it was this time were the newly crowned no-life king came 'now i should head to Konoha... but I haven't got to see the other countries at all... maybe lay low and stay here for awhile'. As he was walking a crossed the roof tops he was drawn to a smell... a wonderful smell, fresh spilled blood "That smells like human blood... fresh and heavily bleeding..." He jumped off the roof top into an alley were he moved through the streets 'where are you...' after a few minutes he came across a site that would make gasp... if he were human.

It was a woman, beaten and left dead in a dumpster. "Hmpf even i myself a monster am not that cruel." he said as he bit her and drained the corpse of blood, he saw her whole life and how she died. Her husband was targeted by a group of rouge Nin and they used her as a hostage, when he never came they raped and beat her to death. After he finished the blood he looked back at the corpse.. Her face was covered with dry tears.

"She didn't deserve this... Humans... only a few are tolerable and fewer worth my time and attention". While walking away he felt angry, angry how people can be so cruel and ignorant. as he walked down an ally he felt the presents of some thugs and muggers.

"You lost kid" one mugger asked while holding a kunai. Naruto didn't bother talking, he didn't even look at him as he walked by. "Hey, I'm talking to you!" again Naruto ignored him as the rest of the thugs came out of the shadows, he stopped as a group blocked his path "think you're so tough eh kid, how about this!" and with that the mugger stabbed him in the back between the shoulder blades and pulled it down twisting so it would paralyze him. Naruto fell to the ground looking up at his attackers "not so tough now are you, little shit".

he bent down to grab him but froze as a red eye opened on Naruto's torn up back "that wasn't very nice" Naruto stated calmly as a the blood was absorbed into the wound as it regerated "getting my coat all dirty" he said standing up looking back to his attacker

"ill have to teach you some manners" with that said red eye's opened all over Naruto's chest sending fear into the muggers, his body grew till he was 10 feet tall causing the mugger to get even more nervous; A large eye opened on his chest and some of the muggers pissed themselves. "W-what are you!" he said holding the kunai with a shaking hand "**Nosferatu**..." he said calmly with a dark voice as a black and crimson hand shot out of his chest and grabbed the closest muggers face, crushing the skull it was attached to sending blood everywhere and making the rest of them go into panic as they fled

'Run... run like the little rats you are' after watch the muggers fled into the night to tell people of what they saw he stared walking again until he came upon his refection...

It was said that vampires never had reflections.. That was simply because most vampires could never accept themselves as what they are and so there reflection left with their humanity so that they would never see what they have become.

But Naruto kept his reflection, he embraced vampirism and knows he's a monster and accepts, it if not loves it. His reflection stayed so he can remind himself of the monster he is and his choice to become a monster. it was the same with sunlight, a normal vampire can't stand to be in sunlight... because sun gives off pure white light that shows what they are and like their refection... they can't accept themselves in it.

Now... Naruto still has some weakness as a Vampire just not as bad, silver burns like a son-of-a-bitch but not deadly to him and holy water would be like pouring weak acid on his skin.

'Hmmm I look good but i wonder if i should get a hat like master's.. Naaa, maybe.. Naaa- Why not'

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><p>"I'm not Kidding there was this monster!"<p>

"You sure, what did the big scary monster look like hmmm?"

"He looked like a teenager, until he transformed into this black 10 foot tall demon with eyes all over it!"

"Ok... what is this thing called?"

"... Nosferatu."

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><p>the sun was rising, Naruto waited on top of a clock tower with his new black overly large fedora hat (he looks like a blond Alucard now but younger with a black coat instead of red and dark blue undershirt and pants) getting a little shut-eye, he didn't need sleep but he had nothing else to do and he still had dreams. "hmmm... not much in this town; I guess ill head west and go to Nami to see its progress" with that said he headed for the west gate until he saw one of the muggers from last night "There He is!" he said with fear in his voice "It's Nosferatu" he screamed as everyone turned to look at Naruto 'Shit' he thought as some thugs and gang members grabbed weapons 'double shit' he turned to see that the civilians were looking at him 'Oh Triple Shit!'<p>

his train of thought on how shitty this situation is was brought to a halt when a gang member hit him with a spiked bat tearing some of the flesh that covered his face causing the group of people to gasp "heh.. Monster my ass!" he said as he went for another swing. he looked in shock as Naruto, with out even moving a muscle to doge, bit the bat with razor shark like teeth stopping It mid swing.

The gang member's eyes widen further as Naruto bit the bat in half sending little wooden chips every were. And causing every one to look at him in shock. his face had regenerated before the second hit and the bats nails only damaged his gums which already healed after he snapped the bat. the Gang member looked at his broken bat it shock until he looked up to see Naruto's crimson red eye's now that they were exposed when his glasses broke "...**Piss off**..." his words were laced with so much KI (killer intent) a jounin would start felling nervous.

Those two words had the man drop his bat start to back away until he turned around and ran like a madman. Naruto looked at the civilians and one thought crossed his mind 'shit... so much for laying low'

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><p>it was a long day for Naruto, having every one stare at him after the gossip of him being a monster (which is true) was really getting on his nerves; he's been looked at with hate most of his life so he was used to that... but these were stares of curiosity, fear and awe which he wasn't used to and it pissed him off. Also what pissed him off was the damn kumo nin following him everywhere<p>

"Hey there he is." he heard a child talking to his friends

"It's Nosferatu." he heard from another child as he was walking by

"Hey, he's heading for the gate" a young girl said

"Should we tell the mayor, it's not safe to have a monster on the roads" that raised Naruto's pissed off meter another notch.

"do you children mind not talking about me behind my back" all the children froze they slowly turned to meet Naruto's silhouette as he stood in front of the sun, his glasses made light blue glowing circles where his eyes should be giving him a 'I'm going to eat you' look. "S-sorry... Mr.N-nosferatu" the child said in shock after seeing him move behind them so fast they couldn't see him. 'Nosferatu... every ones calling me that... don't they know that it means vamp- oh wait... I'm the first vampire in hundreds of years, besides master' he had to gave himself a sweat drop on that one.

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><p>Naruto was traveling west towards Nami no kuni (wave country) but he couldn't fly because the same damn kumo ninja from before is still following and he doesn't want to show his shape-shifting (turning into bats) and have a reason for kumo to try to capture him "you can come out now.. i know you've been following me for the past few hours" he said out loud coming to a stop. a figure zoomed out of the bush and landed in front of him. it was women with hair braided blond hair and cat like eyes "what the hell is a Kumo ninja doing all the way out here" he asked "that doesn't matter" she hissed "what matters is that i saw you when you killed the thief that night" "your point?" he asked<p>

"my point is that your coming with me" she went to grab his arm only for him smack her hand away "I have no interest in what the greedy Raikage wants... i am a ninja of konoha and follow only the Hokage" he stated as he walked away. " your coming with me" she whipped a kunai at him only for it to his back and sink in 'what the hell' she thought as he turned. His glasses slid down his nose a bit showing his eyes

"i told you, I have no interest in what you or the raikage wants" as he kept walking only to stop as he felt a large amount of chakra. He turned only to see the woman come at him with a cloak of chakra the shape of a cat. 'So... She is what i once was' he stood still as the chakra coated woman strike him cutting his arms off with long razor sharp claws... "hmpf your arms are gone... come with me before i cut off your legs drag you" she said as he stared at her as if unaffected by being maimed "how about... fuck you" he said as his arms (and sleeves) regenerated in seconds, shocking the women 'WHAT THE HELL!'

she saw him swing his arms out as two wakizashi swords came out of his sleeves into his grasp. One was black with red cloth covering the hilt and a swirl for the guard and a similar swirl on the cap. The other except its was sliver with blue cloth and had a silver cross on the guard on cap. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha's Nosferatu... what's yours Jinchuuriki?" he said as red eyes opened on his chest "Nii Yugito, Nibi jinchuuriki" she said as she exploded with chakra turning into a giant blue flaming cat. "Situation A, full power released until the target is silenced" he said as he made a hand sign in front of his eye. (what Alucard does when he goes into his level 2 stage)

"**RAAARR**" was the sound the now released bijuu made as it swung its claws at him only to be stopped by a large black and crimson hand coming out of Naruto's shoulder. "is this all the two-tails got" he said as he ripped his face off as black shadow mass poured out and he grew into a large black bloody mass covered with eyes "**I'LL SHOW HOW REAL MONSTER'S DO BATTLE!**" he shouted shooting black tendrils out wrapping all around the two-tails at incredible speed, giving its size. the beast flared its chakra at the vampire only for it to be absorbed by said vampire as hand shot out at its tails pulling them in the two tails breathed out blue flames at the monster, burned a large hole in it... only for it to close up after the fire stopped.

"**Is This really the power of a tailed beast... Pathetic**' he said as he pulled the tails in and absorbed theme causing the beast to turn back into Yugito. "Hmpf...a tailed beast... am i really that strong or are the legends of them fake..." he wonder to himself walking down the road leaving on unconscious Yugito... a pantieless Yugito (he needs a trophy for his victory, am I right ;D ).

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><p>OMAKE<p>

Yugito was just waking up, it was a few hours after her fight so Naruto was long gone via turning into bats. she felt a weird felling inbetween her legs, so she looked only to find her panties missing and strip of sand paper (how he got that is a mystery) glued to her crotch just above were the words '_T__hanks for the prize. __Love, Naruto'_ above her crotch.

**THAT FUUCCCKKKIIINNNGGG PEEERRVVEERRT!**

elsewhere

"i feel a disturbance in the chakra... and in my groin" he said

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><p><strong>ELLO!<strong>

**thats chapter 3... Naruto is not a pervert... openly anyway LOL**

**ill be working on chapter 4 as fast as i can... but my internet is a piece of shit and gose off for 4 hours somewhere in the day so it mite not be as fast as some would hope**

**Reito OUT!**


	4. A Vampire at Nami?

**ELLO!...so...umm...just read the story, ya.**

**Chapter 4**

**Shut up before i eat you... wait, what?**

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><p>"This is so funny! I'm so mailing theses to the Raikage" Naruto said while walking down a dirt road in the middle of the night. He was toying with Yugito's panties he stol-no collected!. Even as a stone cold, fuck mothering Vampire he couldn't help but laugh. They were pink with a hello kitty face on it and on the cat's forehead was the number 2. He calmed down after putting them in his coat pocket as he was getting close to wave, he could smell the salt I'm the air as he came up to a site he hasn't seen in years.<p>

"The Great Naruto Bridge... hmm nice name" he said to himself as he walked along the bridge enjoying the view of the moonlight on the water. 'Ahh... I remember my very first real mission here' he smiled until his face looked ticked 'IT FUCKING SUCKED... now that i think about it, I was I fucking idiot; taking on a jounin and the only reason I beat Haku was with the Kyuubi's chakra' he thought bitterly until he stared to remember meeting Inari and his family...

That was pretty much the only good memory he got coming here. as he walked into town he saw that is was fixed up... still a little shitty but not nearly as bad as when the short little bastard Gatou was here. He walked silently staring forward until he saw a pair of thugs looting a store and running into the back...

'I did a lot to help this place with its crime problem; I'm not letting some stupid fuck's try to ruin it'. He said as he sunk into the ground.

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><p>"Hahahaha.. That was best joint I ever hit.. You should have seen his face" a Burglar said to his comrade<p>

"Just shut up... we don't want any attention"

"you've already got mine" stated a low cold voice as the Burglars looked forwards to see someone in the shadows of the alley looking around the age of 15 in a black coat and overly large matching hat sitting on a crate looking at a small piece of paper in-between his thumb and index finger, the glow of light on his glasses was the only thing they could see of his face

"Who the hell are you" he said as their hands reached for a weapon.

Not even looking away from the paper he said cold and calmly "the hero of wave, also the guy who's going to make a meal out of you if you don't return that and turn yourself in... can't have low-life pieces of shit like you two here can we." he said lowering his head so he can look over his glasses showing his swirling red pools most would call eye's and flashing a toothy shark like grin that would put a certain Akatsuki members to shame.

"So unless you want to be my midnight snack, i suggest you turn around before things get ugly" he said putting the paper in his coat and turning to them only to see they ignored him. one guy started walking up to him...

"how about you just go home kid before things get really ugly, I've been trained by ninja so i can tell a genjutsu when I see one so unless you have a death wish...you'd better get out of here" he said with a cocky smile holding a shank that appeared to be a crowbar with the non-curved end sharpened in to a spear.

Naruto narrowed his eyes... "Tell me... do you believe in monsters" he asked out of the blue. the burglars started to chuckle "what kind of idiot would believe in monsters HaHAHAA" he laughed not noticing Naruto's shadow start to creep towards him with glowing red eye's

"**An idiot who knows to run if they meet me**" the burglars stop laughing and started paling as they saw red eyes appear on Naruto's right arm as it stretched out (with shadow mass) holding a Black Wakizashi with the kanji for Jackal on the blade.

"**Tell me, Is this genjutsu**" he said as his arm shot out and impaled one of two through the heart and pinned him to the wall two feet off the ground**. **the other almost pissed himself at seeing what happened to his friend and when he turned and saw Naruto holding a Silver blade in his left hand with the kanji for Joshua on it, all bladder control left him "**Your turn**".

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><p>"What was that?"<p>

"What was what?"

"I swore I heard a cry of pain and terror"

"And how would that make sense"

"Don't know, someone pissed off the main character"

"It's just your imagination, go back to bed"

"Yes dear..."

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><p>"<strong>Well... th<strong>at was easy" he said as he continued to his destination leaving behind two corpse drained of their blood. He took out the paper he had before his... 'Quote' human happy-meal.

If one were to see the paper they would see that it was a picture, a picture of team 7 and Tazuna + family in front of the newly finished Bridge. He kept looking at it until he noticed one thing 'what the fuck?'

he ponder to himself 'the whole time it was foggy and just downright depressing, now when the bridge is built it's the nicest day of the year'. He looked at it as if in a trance... until the windswept it out of his hands and into a saloon. "Fuck!"

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><p>"a-another drink" an old man called out of the end of a bar swaying from side to side a little. "Tazuna-san... I think you've had a bit much" the bartender asked quietly. "i need another one" Tazuna said as he lowered his head on the table. "O-old Man is that you!... it is you, you drunken bastard!" he heard as he turned and looked at his refection on dark tall figures glasses.<p>

"Do I know you?" he said half sober.

"I'm hurt old man... you can't even remember the boy you named your bridge after". That really got his attention, along with everyone else in the room.

He stared at him intensely... until he noticed the blond hair that was 3 times as long as before and the marks on his cheeks "Naruto! Jeeze you've grown kid!" he stated as naruto was probably as tall if not taller then kakashi back then. "Ya but your still the same old drunk aren't you old man" he said and got a laugh from him. "What brings you to wave brat?" Naruto smiled "I'm finished by training and id figure i stop by and say hi to my good old friends, by the way how's the country is doing.

"not good brat... since the bridge went up gatou's business went down and our economy went through the roof, we become a major trade spot seeing as were in the middle between the land of sea, water, fire and other smaller countries." he said sadly getting a confused look from Naruto...

"ummm isn't that a good thing" he asked "yea... but it brought not only a huge rise in money, but a huge rise in crime seeing as there's many valuables from trading" Naruto looked down "that sucks" he said sadly... this is what really went through his mind ' YAY! MORE LITTLE LOW LIFES TO SLAUTER'.

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><p>Shudder: "huhuhuhu..."<p>

"What's wrong boss"

"I don't know, it feels like I'm going to meet my demise at the hands of a monster soon"

"It's just your imagination"

"ya... its probably just that"

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><p>"So how's Tsunami and Inari-kun" Naruto asked the old builder wanting to know how his closest non-romantic adult female friend and little brother figure was doing. "Oh there doing just find... what's with the getup kid, you were wearing neon orange and now you're like some dark bounty hunter." he chuckled (because real vampires don't FUCKING GIGGLE... OR SPARKLE) "something happened that's all" he said quickly<p>

"Like what" Tazuna asked him looking at him funny "My Sensei made me change my cloths and they just stuck" 'then I became the most powerful monster alive, kicked a bijuu's ass and stole some Kumo kunoichi's PANTIES!' (Cause he's just that awesome) "Ya... so should we go Tazuna-san". Tazuna grunted, he wanted some more Sake but he knew bringing him to see his daughter and grandson would be the right thing to do. "Fine let's go"

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><p>Naruto was just outside on the front yard looking in awe... Tazuna's house was huge compared to last time he was here "ya, the villagers did this as a thank you for risking my life and wellbeing by building the bridge for the people" Tazuna said with pride. Naruto smiled<p>

"You deserve it old man, he he.. a take it this side of the house is your sake storage" he said jokingly gesturing to the large side of the house "how'd ya guess" Tazuna said calmly making Naruto face plant. "You Alcoholic bastard" he grumbled on the ground causing him to laugh... "I'm just kidding with brat, I have a whole warehouse on the other side of the village" I can't explain it but Naruto managed to face plant while still face planted on the ground causing Tazuna to laughed harder. "Come on brat I bet Tsunami is inside cooking" that got Narutos attention... Tsunami's cooking was the only food he would say is better than Teuchi's (never to his face though).

"Tsunami! We have a guest!" Tazuna called after walking through the front door letting Naruto in "Who is it Tou-san (dad)" Tsunami still in the kitchen. "It's someone you know... he's short" "HEY!" "WAS short, poor fashioned" "DAMNIT OLD MAN" "WAS poor fashioned and saved your life!"

if one had the Byakugan they could see the gears turning in her head until "Naruto-kun!" she ran out still in her apron until she was in front of Tazuna "where is he?" she didn't notice Narutos eye brow twitch while he was standing 'right behind' Tazuna.

"TSUNAMI-CHAN HOW CAN YOU NOT RECONISE ME?" he cried with anime tears. "Naruto-kun! Wow! You've grown so much" 'holy Shit he looks so handsome' she thought with little hearts coming from behind her head. Naruto noticed the little hearts 'hmmm my Poon senses are tingling'.

"Naruto-Niisan!" Naruto's train of thought was cut off by Inari cry as he came in from the backyard and saw Naruto. "Ya see! He recognised me! Even with the awesome new cloths" he complained as Tazuna laughed. "Naruto-Niisan you look Awesome" Inari said to his big brother/hero figure "you must of learned Many things" Inari said witch made Naruto smile. "Yup I learned many Many things from my Sensei, for one thing i learned how to walk on water" (In your face Jesus! Nah just kidding... you da best)

That made Inari look at him with wide eyes and Smiled "can you teach me that!" he asked... Naruto thought about it. He's still young so he might be able to utilise Chakra... but he's too old to use big amounts and build reserves. "Maybe... but it will take a lot of work and you can't use it a lot, you want to give it a shot" "YES Naruto-Sensei! Let's start right now!" Inari pleaded grabbing Naruto's wrist "OH NO YOUR NOT!" came the stone cold voice of Tsunami "you boys have dinner to eat... Naruto-kun must be hungry from his travels" she said happily as her mood did a 180.

"Hai, Thank you Tsunami-Chan!"

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><p>OMAKE!<p>

"Holy shit man..." Naruto said with wide eyes... when Tazuna said he had a warehouse of Sake; he thought he was making a joke. That was before he brought him he a large building with 'PROPERTY OF TAZUNA' and the side and full with thousands of sake bottles.

"i know... AND IT'S ALL MINE!" Tazuna said shouted with glee. His body somehow forgot its old age as he sprinted towards the building with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"You drunken bastard..." he face palmed until he had a smile of his own "SAVE ME SOME DAMNIT!" and with that he was right behind Tazuna.

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><p><strong>TAADAA! ahh ahhhhh<strong>

**Now if your wondering... yes naruto is blood thirsty and violent when it comes to fights and stuff that piss him off.**

**To explain his personality, ill use Ramen and other characters HEHE**

**NARUTO'S HEAD: the bowl**

**ALUCARD'S POWER: the noodles**

**ANKO'S SADIST NATURE: toppings**

**IBIKI'S TALENT FOR SCARING PEOPLE: the herbs and spices**

**YOUNG GAARA'S BLOODLUST: the broth**

**hope the helps people understand... if not, piss off**

**REITO OUT!**


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